Trials of a Hairy Man
Hello everyone, welcome back to my beauty and personal care blog. I hope that you are all having a great 2017 so far. Mine has been so far okay, mainly because I have noticed a lot more hair than last year already. My birthday was the beginning of the year, and it seems that as soon as it hit the hair came in way more. I have even resulted to buying some real razors to shave with, and found a whole set of cheap second hand razors for sale but that only helps my face out. I am still looking for a better solution to help with all the other hair, and so is my partner! After some frustrating attempts to keep it down, I decided to vent my frustrations away and make this list of the worst problems that only hair men have to deal with. The worst part of this is that I am still quite young, so I know these problems are just going to get worse.
Seriously considering a full body wax
I have tried to do a little manscaping with a body buzzer before, but it gets to a point where it it just too unruly for traditional follicle taming; it's time for the full wax. If you think that you might have to go this route, remember to be aware that most salons don’t offer Brazilian waxes for men, which seems slightly sexist but after trying to do some trimming at home it makes sense.
You grow hair everywhere but your head
This is an issue I have luckily (knock on wood) not had to experience yet, but hairy members of my family make sure to remind me that it will happen soon. Guys with an overabundance of body hair usually have so because they are producing more testosterone than the smooth skinned males, and this means accelerated hair loss on the top of your head. Pretty much the worst trade off of all time, unless your name is Jason Stratham or Patrick Stewart.
Getting rid of back hair means weird products
Or at least a very understanding partner! If you need to trim your back and are alone, looks like it is time to head into the ‘As seen on TV’ stores and buy some strange contraption that looks like a razor mixed with a hair straightener and attempt to use it, usually while standing naked in front of your biggest mirror. Or you can hit up a loved ( and trusted) one who won’t shave any weird designs into your back. Or you can go to the saloon and have them rip it all out.
You are wearing a shirt even when naked
It can be a little difficult to be comfortable in your own skin when you can’t see the skin through matted, thick hair. Sometimes this hair even pokes through when you aren’t naked, and it looks like you are a walking sea urchin or a really big porcupine.
You and Sweating are tight
So tight that you don’t understand life without it. No matter what season it is, no matter what you have on you find your body temperature slightly above normal because there is a layer of hair all over your body. Just going for a stroll down the street to get into you car? Sweaty armpits. Wearing a nice suit for an interview or something similar? Make sure that blazer is buttoned. Watching an intense episode of Man vs. Food? You are sitting all by yourself tonight you literal human stankfountain.
You and Razor Bumps are just as tight
After a trip to the mall and getting sent out of Abercrombie you decide to get as hairless as well, as hairless cat. But the hair doesn’t want to go, and puts up one hell of a fight where your skin gets the worst of it. End result is skin that looks like you just jumped out of a poison ivy bush, and itches just as much.
Razor Bumps on neck
After finally getting a good shave, it feels so nice. For an hour, before you start acting like a bear looking for a tree to scratch on. There is absolutely nothing sexier than a man walking around with smooth, red, irritated skin who can't stop scratching himself. Bonus if you still have a beard and facial dandruff goes all over. If that is you, check out this guide on beard products.
That feels a lot better! These are the worst things I can think about being a hairy man, so if you have a hairy man in your life who seems to be struggling from one of these things then lend a hand, and scratch that beard! If you enjoyed this then check out one of my previous posts, like this one on getting great feet at home.